Japan 'Apologizes' for Bataan Death March...HMMM!

As many of my friends know, my grandfather was a POW in Japan, and I have taken a great interest in his experience, researching his footsteps, the atrocities suffered and visited the island (Corregidor) where he was captured and his first POW camp (Cabanat...uan) in the Philippines.

Here is an article about Japan apologizing for the Bataan Death March. My grandfather, like all Japanese POWs suffered a great deal, though he was never part of the Bataan Death March. What about all those others who weren't part of the death march?

I am not completely sure how I feel about this. One POW/Death March survivor wrote to me saying this man, Steele speaks for himself if he wants to accept the apology and go to Japan, and I can understand his feeling that way.

I too admire and respect Mr. Steel, but don't agree with his stance on their apology at all. I don't understand why they (the Japanese) would apologize for one atrocity (specifically Bataan) and not to all allied prisoners who suffered at their hands.

Also, I disagree on Steele's take on the money. It isn't about an apology, it is about what they had coming as slave labor at the end of the war. The PRIVATE companies that profited on slave labor in Europe had to pay back wages, and that was a HUGE mistake on the part of America to excuse the Japanese companies from doing the same (as part of the Treaty at San Francisco after the war). As for the benefits you get through the VA, I don't know that my grandfather ever took any (I know he never looked back on the army, and never wrote an affidavit etc.), but his health after his POW experience was so bad, that while others were coming back to great jobs in the telephone and electric companies, he couldn't pass the medical exams to get in. His experience in Japan (part of which was as slave labor in privately owned coal mines) and his poor health thereafter had an impact on the rest of his life. The least America could have done was to make the PRIVATE companies that profited on his slave labor pay him for his work.

I do know that the Japanese have never before acknowledged any atrocities, to a point where there are history academics from Japan living in the US with outstanding lawsuits against the Japanese govt., and I am hoping this is a start for them. Perhaps they will eventually let the truth of what they did throughout Asia and to the POWs be published, and will genuinely atone for their behavior so that we can be sure history will not repeat itself. I know this would mean a lot to their Asian neighbors, who also sufferred, and have never forgiven or forgotten what happened there.

Please read the article (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-09-19/healing-the-wounds-of-bataan/), as it goes into more detail on what these attrocities were, how the last-living POWs feel about the apology and the controversy surrounding it all. Thanks, Christine

Turkey & Spinach Meat Loaf

So I have been cooking again! And once again it is a recipe I made up, which sorry, but as many of you know means no measuring! I still wanted to share the recipe/ingredients with you though as it was delicious if I may say so myself! I had thought of this a long time ago and never got around to making it until tonight.

Ingredients:

Ground Turkey
Baby Spinach
Onion
Garlic
Eggs
Parmesan Breadcrumbs
Italian Breadcrumbs
Italian Cheeses (I used dry grated Parmesan/Romano cheese, but would use fresh grated cheese in the future)
Italian Seasoning
Salt
Pepper

Directions:

The first thing to do is to saute the garlic and onions in a bit of oil, adding the baby spinach until wilted. Set aside. In a big bowl combine ground turkey, eggs, breadcrumbs (I added part Italian breadcrumbs and part Parmesan breadcrumbs), cheese, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Then add the spinach/onion/garlic mix and combine with your hands (this is very messy and feels quite gross).

Grease/use spray oil on loaf pan(s) before packing the meat loaf mixture into the pan.

I cooked two small loaf pans covered with tin foil for 40 minutes at 400 degrees and then took the tin foil off and cooked them for another 20 minutes or so. Remove from the oven (make sure to cut into the loaf and make sure it is fully cooked) and eat! YUMMY!

I served it with an simple Caesar salad and it was delicious! Bon Apetit!

ELECTION 2008: Welling up with Tears and Pride

Just after 11:00pm, I heard them say it. They announced that Barak Obama would be the next President of the United States of America. I broke down in tears. I felt so emotional. Why? I felt relief that we would not be subjected to McCain/Palin for the next four years, but there was more. So much more…

As I had sat on the couch ringing my hands watching CBS news cover the election, I feared for the USA. I was truly so scared, not simply of what the McCain/Palin ticket would mean for us in terms of politics, governance, economy etc., but what would it say about us as a nation? I knew I did not want to be identified with a country – with a people—that would find it acceptable to put Sarah Palin in the driver's seat. I have my issues with McCain, but the idea of him dying and leaving her in charge shook me to my core. What could he be thinking? And even if you admire him, can you deny the poor judgment of choosing her as a running mate? Is that a man we want running the country?

Today I am proud to be an American. It feels strange to say. I realized that was part of the reason for my strong emotions, but isn't that what we were taught as children? Shouldn't that be a given for an American? I remember being taught that I should be proud to be an American with a curriculum that made the rest of the World seem such a horrible place to live that I felt lucky. We learned about nuclear weapons and the USSR and Communism. We learned about poverty and children starving in Africa. We were told that in places girls weren't allowed to go to school, and the list goes on.

Then I grew up. I read a lot and I traveled. I saw third-world countries and Communism. I lived in Europe and Korea and heard first-hand tales of what it means to civilians to live in war-torn countries. I started to see things in a very different way – things aren't simple or black and white the way it was painted in school. Everything is complicated and gray!

Don't get me wrong, there have always been points of pride. America has done great things, but we deny many of the things we should be ashamed of. As Americans there is a tendency to embrace the positive and deny the negative – or worse to just not question it. WWII is a great sense of pride, and since then soldiers risk their lives and do their jobs even in wars we have no business in, perhaps wars they don't even believe in. We can still take pride in those soldiers without embracing the war itself.

We as a country go around shouting Democracy from the rooftops, while our foreign policy favors our own commercial interests over the freedom of others. Not good for us financially? No problem. We will let the CIA stage a coup and put in a dictator. Problem fixed…FOR US! Yes that is true! We did it all over Central America, starting with Guatemala in the 50's. It is hard to feel pride in such policies and actions.

I was increasingly feeling like I had to explain myself when I said I was American while in other countries, as there are so many ignorant statements and ideas that I did not want to be identified with. In 2004 I voted for Kerry by absentee ballot from South Korea. Well, to be honest, I didn't vote FOR Kerry so much as I voted AGAINST Bush. I would have felt some relief had Kerry won, but not the emotion I felt when I heard Barak Obama would be our next leader. Alas, as you all know that was not the outcome. Bush won the election. I was so very disappointed in America. How on earth does a President with such a low approval rating actually win re-election? That was the question from all my friends in Europe that littered my email in-box the day after. I did cry over those results though. When I went to inform my students as to who had won, I broke down crying. Then for months after when someone asked me where I was from I would answer, "I'm American," followed by throwing my hands up in surrender as I insisted, "BLUE STATE! BLUE STATE!" I felt a need to defend myself before I was even attacked.

It is not so much that I was ashamed TO BE an American as I felt some shame in certain aspects of America's behavior and a need to explain that I don't assume, for example, we are better than the rest of the world or its citizens, and I don't agree with breaking international laws and waging illegal wars, or many other international policies that offend the majority of the world. I didn't want to be associated with the worst of America, for example the re-election of George W. Bush.

That feeling has followed me…it followed me through the rest of my time in Korea and into Guatemala and even to the USA. We need to try to put ourselves in another person's shoes and understand them and try to find outcomes for the greater good, not strictly for our own good. To be so great and so powerful as America is should mean to set an example and to live up to that greatness as much as possible.

I am not naïve, and I know Obama can't fix all of our problems in four, or even eight, years, but I believe he wants to try. I believe he cares about something other than himself and the giant ego that must be present to even want the position of President of the United States of America. I believe he will care about more than his legacy and will think beyond his terms as president rather than being short-sighted as recent Presidents have been. I know he will make mistakes, but I believe he is a man that will learn from them, rather than trying to cover them up. I am so excited to have a man that came not from an affluent family, but from modest means – a man who was not handed his positions because of daddy's money and name, but because he worked hard for them.

Today I am proud to be an American. It is a bursting with pride feeling, and as much as it may offend some for me to say it, it is the first time I believe I have felt this way since I was in seventh grade studying current events in Mr. Corozza's Social Studies class. That is the first time I remember feeling so lucky to be an American, even if that was built on some extreme bias, and in some cases outright false information. I felt it then and then I grew up. And now I feel it anew. I feel pride in an America that voted for change and for a man they believed in rather than what equates to "the establishment" or the "old boys' network" and people who are playing games for the benefit of their egos and to further line their pockets and the pockets of their friends.

Congratulations to Barak Obama. Congratulations to America for standing up for what we believe in and for demanding more – for demanding greatness from our nation once again. Today I am proud to be an American.

THE TIDE HAS TURNED: MY LUCK IS BACK!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

As most of you know, this has been a rough year. It seems one thing after another goes wrong! I try to stay positive and I have my good days and my bad days. I have always considered myself to be a rather lucky person. I have rough patches, like anyone else, but overall things usually work out or, better than that, go really well!

Well, yesterday seemed to be my lucky day! I think my luck is finally changing! First I went to a walk-a-thon for Wilson's disease. Kiss 108 was there and they did contests for prizes. In one such contest they would play the theme music from a TV show. I recognized them all, but when they played one in particular I was one of only two people to raise my hand so I was selected. BEWITCHED, I said with confidence and some enthusiasm. YES! I was correct, but that wasn't enough to win the prize. That only gave you a chance to play MEMORY. They had cards stuck to a car (by magnet) each with a matching picture. You had to pick two cards and get a match to win the prize. I selected my first card and it was a WILD card, the only one! I didn't need to choose another to win the prize. I got a bag of goodies and a chance to win a $200 gas card. Granted, I did not win the gas card, but that wasn't the end to my luck!

After wandering around IKEA with Theresa later that afternoon, and a delicious dinner at Bertucci's, we decided to go see a movie. I went into the theater to check out what was playing and at what times while Theresa smoked outside. We decided on BURN AFTER READING and re-entered the theater to purchase our tickets. This time, as I entered the theater, I was approached by a young lady who asked, "Do you guys want some free passes?" I was initially suspicious. She explained that she had received the passes for purchases made at American Eagle that would expire the next day. She had 4 extras and didn't want them to go to waste. We took the passes!

As we were feeling pretty lucky to be seeing a movie for free (a $21 value), I exclaimed, "I won a prize and got free movie passes in one day? Somebody is definitely going to hire me soon! My luck has returned! YAY!" I really believe that!

I also highly recommend BURN AFTER READING! I think it is a movie you love or hate, as Theresa and I LOVED it, but the people in the theater that didn't like it had some strong opinions as they were leaving the theater. I think it was brilliant! Hope you are all well and having some luck of your own!

Hugs, Christine

Addicted, Healthy & Happy: Can’t Get Enough Greek Yogurt!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I am writing all enthusiastic about a new HEALTHY food I have re-discovered! I did eat some in the Philippines if I recall, but for the most part I go for Yoplait or Dannon when I think of yogurt! Greek Yogurt not only has more nutrition (with 15 grams of protein in a 6 oz. container), but it is richer, creamier and tastes better than other plain yogurts with little to NO sugar! MMMMM! I have been eating a scoop of this yogurt with a splash of Kashi Berry Granola and a handful of fresh blueberries and it is DELISH!

Read this article below listing Greek Yogurt as one of the World's healthiest foods, detailing the benefits of Greek Yogurt!

World's Healthiest Foods: Yogurt (Greece)

Many think of yogurt as just a sweet snack. But the thick, creamy, rich kind that's traditional in Greece has been integral to Grecians' healthy diet for thousands of years. "We have a custom that before a couple goes on their honeymoon, they eat yogurt with honey and walnuts for prosperity and energy," says Antonios Maridakis, president of Fage USA, importer of Greece's biggest yogurt brand. "A lot of us believe that yogurt is an aphrodisiac."

Why to try it: Yogurt promotes intestinal and vaginal health, improves lactose intolerance, builds stronger bones, enhances immunity, lowers blood pressure, and may even have anticancer and weight-loss effects. In a recent study in the International Journal of Obesity, researchers found that obese adults who ate three servings of fat-free yogurt a day as part of a reduced-calorie diet lost 22% more weight and 61% more body fat than those who just cut calories. A plus for Greek yogurt, in particular, is that it doesn't give you the sugar overload of what you usually find in U.S. grocery stores. To save on fat and calories, reach for a low-fat version.

What to do with it: Look for Fage Total yogurt at specialty food stores, Whole Foods Market, Wild Oats, or Trader Joe's. A 5-ounce container costs $1.89. Try it with a drizzle of honey and a handful of walnuts or almonds. Or use Greek yogurt in our delicious Grilled Eggplant and Yogurt Dip. (Find this recipe here: http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1168098)

For more information you can go to this website for FAGE: http://www.fageusa.com/home.html, which is the largest importer of this yogurt. You can also buy it at Hannaford,a s that is where I found it, and possibly other stores. If you decide to try it let me know! There is a no fat version that has only 6 grams of carbs, and 15 grams of protein for a 6oz container. Compare that to the other yogurts, and you will see this is much healthier! I am HOOKED! If you try it you may be too!

Stay happy and healthy! Hugs, Christine

Whole Wheat Pasta Salad with Spinach, Onion & Bacon

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Hello All!

As many of you know, I have had a rough year, and as a few of you know, a pretty rough week. NOW my car needs $450 worth of work. ARGH! So, again, as many of you know, cooking makes me happy --it is calming for me!

I have no car today (it is in the garage being fixed) and wanted to make something with what I had in the house (of course I thought I had things I did not and once I had decided on this dish was hell bent, so thanks Stephen for the ride to the store), and decided on a healthy pasta salad made with whole wheat rotini.

I also love to share when I make something for the first time, so if you want to try it these are the ingredients I used:

Whole Wheat Rotini
Spinach
Onion, Minced Garlic
Ken's Northern Italian Dressing (Light)
Fresh Parmesan Cheese
Salt
Pepper

Prepare the pasta as usual and set aside. Saute the garlic, onions and spinach together. Add the spinach/onion/garlic mix to the pasta in a bowl and stir. You want to pull the spinach apart and spread it out as you are combining these ingredients. Add the chopped bacon pieces (you can buy these in the salad aisle, but get REAL bacon, not bacos), fresh grated parmesan cheese and salt and pepper to taste. Mix these ingredients into the pasta. Slowly add in the dressing while stirring. You don't want too much dressing, so err on the side of caution as you can always add more. Chill for a while and eat!

I had some of this for lunch today and it is delicious if I may say so myself! It is also quite healthy with the whole wheat pasta, spinach and lite dressing! Let me know if you try it! I hope you are all doing well and having a good week!

Hugs, Christine

GIDDY? SWOONING? WHAT THE HELL? CHRISTINE ’HEARTS’ JOSHUA RADIN!

Joshua Radin is magic. Pure and simple! I met him last night and WOW! If you don't know who I am talking about, please listen to his music here: http://www.myspace.com/joshuaradin

Although I had heard his name from a friend, it was my love of everything INGRID MICHAELSON that lead me to JOSHUA RADIN. He did a song with her called, SKY, in which he does most of the singing. I was immediately impressed and checked out his music eventually downloading everything I could get my hands on. I LOVE his music. He is a very talented singer/songwriter. But how, you may be wondering, did I meet him?

Amazing as it is with the bad year I have had (broken shoulder, deaths, being laid off etc.), I actually fell into it accidentally! I had read on MySpace that he was coming to the MIDDLE EAST in Cambridge and that you could buy tickets in advance on his web site. I did. That was about three months ago. Imagine my surprise when I got an email weeks later talking about when to be at the venue for the 'meet and greet' with Joshua Radin. HUH? It turns out the first 15 people to buy tickets get to meet him! Who knew? I admit that I felt a bit silly. I mean, what the hell would I say to him? "I like your music." That is it. That is all I've got. I am not one for meeting "famous" people really. Ok, so there are a few exceptions, as some of you who know the Monkees story, may be thinking! At any rate, we even discussed skipping it. Curiosity won out though and we decided to show up.

After dinner I text the number I had been given in an email. The tour manager came out and lead Kerreanna and I into the venue and there he was surrounded by people. I think we were late as people seemed to be walking away. His tour manager pointed out that we had just arrived.

Joshua Radin walked up to us, took my hand, looked me in the eyes and simply said, "What is your name?" I admit, completely against my grain, there was weakness in my knees. I was instantly mesmerized. That doesn't happen to Christine Hayes! There was something in his eyes. They are so expressive and sincere, not to mention deep brown and gorgeous. I don't know. As I said, this doesn't happen to me. He was charming and funny. I found myself a bit nervous. I don't get nervous with other mere mortals!

There are others who fall so short of his talents, and yet are pompous, but when he spoke of his music he was modest - he was real. Kerreanna mentioned Manny Ramirez being traded and he replied, "don't talk to me about that. I am from Cleveland and we lost him to you." He is really funny and he is sweet -- yup, definitely a "sweetness" about him. I told him my favorite songs are LOVELY TONIGHT and THE FEAR YOU WON'T FALL and he said he was going to play them. Kerreanna said hers are WINTER AND CLOSER. He asked if we wanted to do his set list. LOL! I babbled a bit, but he was laughing...he was laughing. I made Joshua Radin laugh. Ok. Big deal. I make most people laugh, but I cared. I got a special thrill out of making him laugh. He made me feel funny...what was it...this odd and unfamiliar feeling...oh god! It was GIDDY! I felt Giddy! I am not a 'giddy' kind of girl! I don't do 'giddy' -- SO out of character for me! Eventually he had to go as the show was about to start. I was even more excited for his performance after meeting him.

Let me preface this by saying that I had a horrible day yesterday! From start to finish it was bad, but I will not go into all those details here. I tried to shake off the bad day as I got ready for the show. I ended up on a T with no air conditioning and a woman who wanted to talk to me about a problem with her baby's daddy...NO KIDDING! So fitting for my day! By the time I got off the T I was so sweaty. I felt disgusting. Again, I tried to just look forward to the show, grabbing an ice coffee to cool off while I waited for Kerreanna. We enjoyed dinner and things were looking up.

Then sitting at the bar my phone kept vibrating. I finally decided to check it and I had 4 missed calls from the assisted living where my 90-year old cousin lives. Scared to death I ran outside to call them back. They told me she thought she was having a stroke and they were calling an ambulance. Through tears I explained I had been drinking and couldn't drive to get to her. I was very upset. To make things worse, a friend came along and saw me crying. I am not sure why I still call him that, as he has been no kind of friend to me for some time. But to add insult to injury, I heard the girl he was with say something and he just walked away from us without even a goodbye. I was still in tears! Who does that?

After running outside several times to speak to my cousin Charlie, who was in touch with the assisted living, I was starting to calm down. He assured me that he believed she was ok and that if it was serious he would go to the hospital. Still, I was shaken from the initial phone call and the fear of losing Cutie (that is what we call my cousin and I am so close to her she is more like a grandmother to me), as well as the fact that a man I once had a close and intimate friendship with -- a man I once considered to be among my best friends here and claims to care about me and call me "good friend" too -- would walk away at the bidding of a girl he has known for a few months while I am distraught. He doesn't have the backbone to stand up for himself or anyone else and that breaks my heart!

As you can see, I thought this would have a huge effect on me being able to enjoy the rest of the show. Vanessa Carlton was singing and as I relaxed, I was enjoying her, but not with the same enthusiasm I would normally have at a live performance (as that is one of my favorite kind of outings).

Then there was Joshua Radin! He took the stage with his fedora on his head, his way of softly speaking into the microphone like he is having an intimate conversation with the audience, his unassuming charm, the most incredible smile and THAT VOICE! I was happy -- instantly! BIZARRE! Something came over me. With each song...with each note...the feeling grew more intense. I was swaying, I was singing along...I started to take notice then of his physical attributes (not something I pay attention to normally, but I guess it was the whole package) -- from his thick dark hair peeking out from under his fedora to his deep brown eyes, to the five o'clock shadow and his hairy arms (yes I like hairy arms because they normally indicate a hairy chest and I LOVE A HAIRY CHEST), he was hot as hell! OH MY GOD! And then I realized...I haven't felt this since I was 15 and at an NKOTB concert. I was swooning! I am not a "swooner"...I don't swoon! I left that back in the teen years along with "giddy." But here I was giddy and swooning! Totally against every grain in my body!

At one point I heard myself say to Kerreanna, "I am a commitaphobe and a prude (I am not really a prude of course, but am labeled as such because I don't kiss strangers in bars and jump into bed with people I don't know) and right now I would do anything he wanted from sex to the rest of my life!" In shock she replied, "Where the hell is Christine?" I know! I have no explanation other than the obvious one, JOSHUA RADIN IS MAGIC! He put some kind of strange spell on me! That is the only explanation for these weird feelings for a man I met for five minutes.

The best part is though, despite my day and the disappointments, I had fun and I genuinely enjoyed the show. I loved every second of his performance and felt sad when it ended. I will go and see him again...I would travel anywhere in the New England area to see him perform again. Don't worry, I am not going to go "groupie" and start following him around the country or anything, but it is tempting. If you don't know him please check him out and if you get a chance go and see him. He has this incredibly powerful stage presence which makes his music even better somehow!

I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH JOSHUA RADIN! BIZARRE!

Pasta Salad with a Thai Twist!

Hello All!

I am at it again...cooking away! With the 4th of July fast approaching and several parties to attend, I am thinking about what I may cook to bring along with me! The other day I came up with three new dishes in my head, but I have to put them to the test first! I want to share the first experiment with you. Feel free to share your opinion!

Tonight I made a pasta salad that is not the least bit traditional. I knew the ingredients would be fabulous together, but would it be good cold? Let's face it: for a pasta salad to meet with success it must taste good cold!

I am not sure what to call it, but it has a THAI TWIST! First I sauteed chicken cut in bite-sized pieces in a bit of olive oil spray, 8-10 chopped scallions and fresh ginger paste. When the chicken was browned, I added cut green beans, chicken broth, a small can of pumpkin puree, a can of coconut milk, a bit of curry powder and a bit of chopped cilantro. I let it simmer while I cooked a box of whole wheat penne. Once the pasta was cooked I put in a large bowl and tossed it with the chicken, green beans and sauce along with more fresh cilantro. I also added a bit of salt and pepper at this point. Then I let it cool and YAY! It IS good cold!

It was a success! It came out quite yummy and I will be looking for some guinea pigs to try it and give me a second opinion for this batch to determine whether I will reproduce it for the parties on the 4th (and the 5th)!

I have been very productive tonight! As a total aside, I have not only cooked this fabulous little dish, but I also changed my sheets, did a huge load of laundry and folded it and put it away, neatened my bedroom and cleaned the bathroom. Hopefully I will be tired enough to sleep after all that! Unfortunately shoulder injuries don't like to lie down, which makes sleep tough these days! It is time to hit the shower and try to get some sleep.

I hope you are all well and some of you will get to sample my new pasta salad at some of these soirees!

Sweet Dreams,
Christine

NO MORE DUNKIN DONUTS COOLATTAS FOR ME!

Ok, so thankfully I am not a big drinker of the Dunkin Donuts Coolatta. I was years ago when it came out, but eventually I decided it tastes gross with skim milk and it had to be way too much cream (FAT) to be in any way excusable.

Then there are the fruit coolattas, better option, but how much sugar must they have?

The fact is though that in the summer months I would treat myself to a lemonade coolatta or two and probably one or two coffee coolattas. Not bad right? Well, I was assuming it was lemonade and ice and coffee and ice...

I learned a valuable lesson tonight though kids!

I walked into Dunkin donuts at around 1am (the 24-hour one on Gallivan Blvd. in Dorchester). As you can imagine, the place was hardly hopping and the people behind the counter had been doing some "chores". I noticed five or six half gallon cardboard containers resembling milk cartons. When I read the label though it was something called NEUTRAL BASE.

HMMM! What the hell is that I wondered? Definitely not milk!

What better way to find out than to read the ingredients. So, I read on...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar, Propylene Glycol, Malic Acid, Sodium Benzoate (Preservative), Cellulose Gum... HMMMM...

Here is where the concern started for me.

When I have read all of the ingredients on a FOOD product and still have no friggin' idea what it is, that can't be healthy! So, I asked the woman "what is this used for?"

She told me it was the base for the coolattas. EEEEWWW! She explained that was the fruit coolattas, but went on to say it would be similar ingredients in the coffee coolatta base. That was it. That was what did it. I will not only never drink another coolatta, but I will never again ASSUME that a frozen beverage is real coffee and ice. I will always ask! I have asked at Starbucks and it is not a mix. I don't know why it never occurred to me to ask at Dunkins. Perhaps it is because I was drinking them back before I cared about these things.

I announced to the woman that I would not be drinking anymore coolattas. She laughed and agreed with me, however the man seemed defensive, announcing that everything was on their web site, like I was accusing him of keeping a deep dark secret. I explained to him that I was not accusing them of pulling one over on me, and that it had simply never occurred to me that an unidentifiable mostly chemical substance was at the root of the frozen treat! I am pretty sure he thought I was a nut, but I am sure nuts are common-place in there at 1:30am, so I was not offended in the least.

I got home around 3am and being unable to sleep I turned to my computer and looked up that Dunkins web site. For those of you that are curious, I asked earlier HOW MUCH SUGAR MUST THERE BE IN A FRUIT COOLATTA? Well! I have the answer! A 16 oz. Lemonade Coolatta from Dunkins has 56 grams of sugar and 59 grams of carbs! WOW! NO fiber, NO protein...in essence NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE! On the upside there is no fat, but it is 240 calories!

What about the Coffee Coolatta? I am glad you asked! It is 350 calories (that is a meal), 22 grams of fat, 40 grams of carbs and 35 grams of sugar. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time justifying eating a cereal with 13 grams of sugar in a serving. More than the fat and sugar though, I don't like the idea of all those chemical ingredients and that is the base for the beverage.

YUCK!

As some of you know, I love to read about food, be it recipes, food reviews or nutrition. Some of you will not appreciate this and go on to drink your coolattas and I genuinely hope you enjoy them! Others of you will be annoyed at me for giving you info you prefer not to know, but I am not trying to lecture in any way. I simply stepped in this info today and am fascinated. I for one will never assume again. Hell, I even asked them if in fact my latte was espresso and milk. It was! PHEWW! I will stick to my basic coffee beverage! Some of you would argue that is very unhealthy too, but at least I know what I am consuming! Thankfully I have not had a coolatta this year, I am still drinking hot coffee -- I have yet to have even switch to iced! I like hot coffee best. It is soothing to me for some reason.

And for those of you thinking, hey crazy lady, perhaps that medium espresso beverage is the reason you are ranting about sugar and fat and cellulose gum at 3am. Well, you are wrong! I could drink coffee all day long and still go to sleep. I WISH caffeine had the effect of keeping me awake...no such luck!

I want to thank you for humoring me in my little rant about chemical consumption! I hope you are all well and will have a wonderful weekend!

Lonely in a Crowd: An Essay

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Hello All,

I am sleepless in Boston again. I had a bad experience where someone came into my yard and banged on my bedroom window last Monday and I have had trouble sleeping ever since.
I am here alone. I am almost always alone these days. I wrote an essay in December 2006 about my first experience with the feeling of loneliness. Most people would say I should consider myself lucky to have never felt it before the age of 32. I think it sucks to have to feel it at any age.

When I came home it was really hard. I had started to adjust and had felt like I had made some connections. I had started to feel better and more settled. I still struggled, but I was on my way. I had found a book club, been accepted into a writing group, joined a foodies club and had started connecting with girls at work. Things were starting to come together for me.

Since I broke my shoulder on February 22nd, I have been alone in my house almost all the time. I can't drive a car. I can't take myself to the doctor or to the grocery store. At first, everyone was checking on me and people would come over. As time has gone on I feel forgotten. I have always been very independent. I have never needed other people. I enjoy their company, but I don't NEED them. I have always been on my own and happy with that.

The pain was ungodly when I first fell and broke my shoulder. I broke it at the joint where it meets the ligament and it was and still is a nightmare. I couldn't even shower myself for the first 5 days. I was COMPLETELY reliable on others for the first time since I was a child. It was a horrible feeling. I think it is fair to say the isolation has been far worse than the pain.

It doesn't get easier. It gets harder and harder each week and over the last two weeks I have become very lonely and depressed, even crying on and off almost daily. I feel that the more depressed I get, the less people want to be with me. It is a vicious cycle. On the odd days that someone comes and gets me and takes me out, I am fine. I am just happy to be out and to have the company. Perhaps people are tired of checking on me or having to come and get me. Perhaps they don't realize that I am like a different person when I get to go out.

When something like this happens you find out who your real friends are and I have found out I don't have nearly as many as I thought I did. That has been a hard lesson. I look back at this essay and see that I was missing the connections I had with friends overseas. I still feel that way. I still don't feel like I have the intimacy and love with anyone here that I did with my friends in Korea. The person I talk to the most is my friend Mark in Moscow. I am surrounded by people here. I am within miles and not a long-distance call away and the person that talks to me several times a week and always makes me laugh and more importantly, lets me cry, is in Moscow, Russia. He shows me that he loves me and says he is proud of me for how I have handled this even when I have just cried my eyes out. He makes me feel good.

Don't get me wrong, there are a couple people here that have also shown their loyalty and concern, but not nearly as many as I would have thought and I can tell you, it is not the people I would have expected it would be. I really appreciate those friends as well. I guess I feel like if this happened to someone I cared about I would be there...on the phone...driving them around...camped out in their living room if they needed me, and that has not always been the case for me.

I had a couple of friends that were around all the time in the beginning and have not been around for the last couple of weeks. That has made these last weeks particularly difficult. Although this is true of more than one person, I admit I have taken it out on one friend in particular. I don't feel like he cares anymore. All my feelings and emotions have been intensified over the last weeks though. It has hit me really hard. I have even stopped looking forward to going back to work. I rarely get out of my pajamas and spend most of my time lying in bed. I have even lost interest in TV and reading.

I would love to come face to face with the idiot that drained that hose out their window in the middle of winter making the sidewalk a virtual skating rink. One wrong step and I am alone for 8 weeks. I said earlier I have always been on my own and that is the way I like it. That is true, but it was ON MY OWN, not alone. there is a difference, and in the last 8 weeks I have never felt so alone in my whole life. It is a feeling of desperation. I have never experienced anything like it and it is horrible. I know it is not the worst thing that ever happened to anyone, but it is definitely one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. I just keep telling myself I am on the mend and it will all be over soon. It just can't be soon enough for me. I want my arm back. I want my life back. I want all these feelings to go away.

Here is the essay I wrote. If you are interested on my discovery of loneliness and my perspective on what that means, read on. Thanks for reading my vent! I hope you are all doing better than I am!

Lonely In A Crowd...
By: Christine M. Hayes

I am home. I am surrounded by friends and family and yet I have this feeling I have never experienced before. To be honest it started in Guatemala. I was not sure what it was at first. It made me feel a bit sad. It made me miss people. It made me long for my friends. I realized it was coming back again and again and tried to identify it, but it was unfamiliar to me. Eventually it was like a light bulb lit up over my head! LONELINESS! Oh my god! I am lonely
This was a new feeling for me and one I admit that I never thought I could fall vulnerable to. I had certain ideas about what kind of people felt lonely. When I thought of loneliness I thought of desperate people searching for love-I have never cared if I find romantic love, in fact I go out of my way to avoid it. I thought of elderly people with no family who had lost all their friends to age or disease-I still have friends and family. I thought of the socially inept who never had romantic love or friends and family-I am a social butterfly. And yet, the feeling was definitely loneliness. How is that possible?

I started to examine this. I blamed my circumstances in Guatemala. Although, I meet people quite easily, I was there for four months. Most other people were there for a week or two at most. I was lucky in the beginning. I met several people who were there for five or six weeks. When they left the loneliness came. To add to that complication, the dangers abound for a woman traveling alone in Guatemala often did not allow me to go out unless I had an escort. That made things difficult when I was the only student living in my house. As much as I missed my friends in Korea, I started to look forward to returning to Boston. I know people in Boston. I would be close to my family.

When I returned to Boston I was overwhelmed. I had to buy a car, start a new job, find a place to live and was visiting my family in New Hampshire every other weekend trying to reconnect. I was so happy to be home and to be around my family. I was thrilled to get to know my nephew and to be more than a visitor again.

As time has gone by and I have become more settled in Boston, the loneliness has returned. At first I was frustrated and could not imagine how this could be. One weekend when I was feeling particularly lonely I went up to stay with my sister. Although I found some comfort in being with her and my brother-in-law, it did not stave off the feeling of loneliness. This has become increasingly frustrating for me, and I have had no choice but to examine it and try to understand the feelings.

I am so often surrounded by people, so how can I possibly still have bouts of feeling lonely? I started to think about the people I miss and what they represent. When I left Belgium I missed my two roommates and two very close friends the most. There are a few people in particular that I miss from my time in Korea. When I think about these people and the relationships I had with them, I realize they know me. They really know me.

Especially my best friends from Korea. They could tell by a tone or subtle body language what I was thinking or if I was uncomfortable, when others would never know. They understand my likes and dislikes and my hopes and my dreams and my quirks and desires. They know all my flaws and insecurities and love me and admire me regardless.

I realized that I do not have this with anyone here. I love my friends and family here, but after being away for so long I have changed and there is nobody that understands me like that here. This knowledge-this intimacy-came from spending a lot of time together and I have not had that with anyone here for years.

I only have two good friends in Boston (the rest are in New Hampshire and spread out all over the World), and although I am starting to make some new ones, they can't know me instantly. We can't share that kind of history immediately. I tired to explain this to someone the other night. It is great to have new friends and people you enjoy being around, but unfortunately intimacy takes time and there is nothing I can do to speed that process. The other tricky thing about new friends is that they come with their own lives full of people and obligations, and you have to be integrated into that slowly. That is hard.

Patience. I have to have patience. I have never been a patient person. This will be a great challenge for me. I have had fleeting thoughts of jumping a plane back to Korea or some other exotic destination. I have thought of running to another part of the country such as Florida or California. I then realize that I will have to deal with this in a new location. Even in Korea, if I stayed eventually my friends would leave. None of us are really permanent there. These are all only temporary solutions.

Realistically I have a lot going for me here. I have a great job where I get to make a difference. I have warm and caring colleagues that I have grown to care about very much. I have my family and I enjoy being with them. I do have good old friends here and some amazing prospects in new friends. I find I have to remind myself of these things on a regular basis.

I knew the adjustment would be difficult, but it has really just started to hit me recently. I am very lucky to have had such amazing friends and I know that they are my friends for life. One of my good friends from my adventures in Korea visited me in Boston in September and another one plans to visit next summer. I look forward to that visit and many more. I can meet them in all different parts of the world and, thanks to modern technology, I can talk to them on the phone and email them regularly. It is still hard to think of never getting to be part of their daily lives or to have them as part of mine. It is hard to imagine that we will never all be in the same room again and I will unlikely ever live in the same city with them again. These are things I still struggle with.

I know eventually I will have a group of people-of close friends-like that here. It is so hard to know there is nothing I can do to move it along. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I will be a good friend to those I have here and hope that eventually they will know me and love me, as my friends did in Europe and Korea.

If someone had told me a year ago that I could be surrounded by people and still feel loneliness, I would have called them crazy, and yet here I am lonely in a crowd of people. All I can do is acknowledge it and wait patiently for it to change

RED SOX RULE...YANKEES DROOL!

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Red Sox are playing the Yankees in Boston tonight!

I know, I know! Most of you don't think 'SPORTS FAN' when you think of me and that is true I guess, but there are some exceptions to that rule. I LOVE to watch sports if someone I care about is playing. I used to watch a friend of mine play basketball every week and I LOVED that. It probably helps that he is pretty amazing at it, but I really miss that. What I never admitted as a teenager is that I loved it when I watched my brother or sister in a basketball game. I didn't go often and would have never confessed to enjoying it so much (sibling rivalry and all), but I really did!

I also feel pride in where I come from and the sports teams are a part of that. New England, and Bostonians in particular, have a real attachment to their sports teams and none have captured our hearts over the years like the RED SOX. Even through an 86 year dry spell we believed damn it!

I admit to hearing some stories that are a little crazy, for example there was a guy who bought the house Babe Ruth was born in and ripped it down trying to break the curse. You know that idiot was out the night we won the World Series buying everyone beer and taking all the credit, when it is our dear Red Sox and all the fans, even the normal ones without enough money to buy a house just to rip it down, that deserved the credit. Believing is enough! I think that guy is nuts, ok? I said it, but the insanity of RED SOX fans and their persistence in believing and loving the team (even though they broke their hearts in game 7 of three different World Series before we finally won in 2004) is part of their charm! Boston fans don't give up.

Anyone who knows about Red Sox fans knows about the hatred we have for the New York Yankees. They say we always route for two teams, the SOX and whichever team is playing against the Yankees! I was once impressed with an encounter I had with a Korean guy in a bar in Daegu, South Korea. It was right after we had won the 2004 World Series. And yes, I had watched it at 8am my time and I did cry when we won. So, anyway, I am in this bar on the following Saturday night and quite drunk and this huge Korean walks by (he really was a large man and not just for a Korean) and he is wearing a New York Yankees jacket. Well, in my excitement (and inebriation) I gave him a shove and got in his face and yelled, "YANKEES SUCK!" I know, this is really NOT AT ALL like me. It took a moment for my friends to recover from the shock and start to grab me, but before they could he said in really bad broken English, "No, No, No...I like Red Sock, My girlfriend buy" as he grabbed the jacket and made a disgusted face. We hugged and bonded over the Red Sox recent win and my European friends thought we were both crazy! I was so surprised that he knew immediately that I must be a Red Sox fan. The word of the rivalry has made it to Asia folks!

With all of that said, and even with our success, a Boston Red Sox fan has pulled yet another stunt in order to assure our victory over the Yankees and possibly to get back at them for the "Curse of the Bambino." I have to say. I like this one. Harmless and yet adorable. I approve! I will think of it every time the Red Sox are playing at the new Yankee Stadium starting in 2009. Please see the New York Post article below for this clever fan's attempt to put a jinx on those dastardly Yankees! I LOVE IT!

I hope you are all well and the Sox will kick some Yankee BUTT tonight! GO SOX!!!!!

FROM THE NEW YORK POST:

HIGH'JINX' HITS YANKEES
By JOHN DOYLE, CHUCK BENNETT and JEREMY OLSHAN

NEW YORK -- April 11, 2008 --The new Yankee Stadium may be cursed!

A devilish Boston fan working on a concrete crew at the $1.3 billion stadium covertly buried a Red Sox T-shirt under what will become the visiting team's locker room to jinx the Yanks, two construction workers told The Post yesterday.

"In August, a Red Sox T-shirt was poured in a slab in the visitor's clubhouse. It's the curse of the Yankees," one worker said. "Nobody knows about it. It's in the floors, it's buried."

The workers say they now fear that they unwittingly helped hex their beloved Bronx Bombers.

"I don't want to be responsible for sinking the franchise," said a second worker, who witnessed the sabotage. "I respect the stadium."
The Post has withheld their identities because they are not authorized to speak to media.

This latest hex is above and beyond any typical ritual - like wearing a lucky shirt or hat - that fans typically do to boost their luck.

"It sounds a little unprecedented to me," said Tim Wiles, director of research at the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown.

"I guess if the Yankees go 86 years in the new ballpark without a win we'll know if we are on to something," he said, referring to Boston's previous infamous losing streak after they sold Babe Ruth.

"If I was a Yankees fan, that is my house. I don't want a Red Sox [T-shirt] under my house," he added.

Chris Wertz, co-owner of the Red Sox bar Professor Thom's in the East Village, laughed at the ingenuity of the worker. "I won't be surprised in the least bit to see that visiting locker room torn up and relaid right away," he said. "This what makes the game special for baseball fans. It's not a mean thing, but something they will take seriously."

Red Sox fans, he said, will see the buried garment as a good-luck charm, especially after years of seeing the retired numbers of four legendary players displayed in Fenway Park.

It has long displayed "9" for Ted Williams, "4" for Joe Cronin, "1" for Bobby Doerr and "8" for Carl Yastrzemski - which comes out to 9-4-18, the day before the World Series that resulted in the last Red Sox championship until 2004.

Baseball historians said these kinds of superstitions are not something to be scoffed at.

"Curses start off very easily. It's all the power of suggestion and they take on a life of their own," said Dan Gordon, co-author of the 2007 book "Haunted Baseball." "Even the 'Curse of the Bambino' didn't really take off until the 1980s. Before then it was just hard luck," he said.

Mickey Bradley, co-author of "Haunted Baseball," said a worker is said to have buried an unknown good-luck charm in a water main trench of the current Yankee Stadium back in 1920. "Prior to that, they never they won a World Series," he said. Players can also bring curses to their teams.

"Look at the curse of A-Rod. The Yankees haven't won since [Alex Rodriguez] came to their game. There's probably more to that than a T-shirt," said Peter Nash, author of "Boston's Royal Rooters," a history of Red Sox fans.

"This just takes the rivalry to whole new level. If you look at 2004, the Yankees were up three games. If Boston lost that, seriously, the whole franchise would have been decimated," said Nash, who performed with the rap duo Third Bass before writing about baseball.

"I think there is a curse in effect already. Maybe the Red Sox T-shirt is like the icing on the cake, a nice little F-you from Boston," he said.

The year 2004, of course, was the year the Red Sox broke their own curse and won the World Series after beating the Yankees in the playoffs. Still, stadiums have long had their own curses.

One of them is the 1945 "Billy Goat" curse at Wrigley Field, the home of the Chicago cubs.

Legend has it that William Sianis placed a curse on the team after stadium staff refused to let him enter with his pet goat. The team hasn't played in the World Series since 1945.

Superstition in stadiums can also cut the other way and help a team.The Texas Rangers languished in their old stadium from 1972 to 1993, until they moved into a new ballpark the following year. Since then, the team won three division titles. More recently, the Tampa Rays may be cursed by their own new stadium, which was partially built over a cemetery.

Over the past decade, the team had the worst record in all of Major League Baseball four times and finished last place in their division nine times.
As for the buried emblem of hated Boston, the Yankees say they aren't the least bit worried.

"It sounds like a tall tale, and it would take more than a Red Sox T-shirt to put a curse on the Yankees," said team spokesman Howard Rubenstein.

john.doyle@nypost.com

Ode to 80s TV: The Nostalgia of "Diff’rent Strokes"

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Please indulge me for a few moments....

I am at home (with a broken shoulder as most of you know) and have been watching a marathon of Diff’rent Strokes (1978-1986). I am sure you all remember this show. I watched Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life FAITHFULLY as a kid, and even with cable and all the shows we loved playing in syndication, I have not seen these shows on TV. The Brady Bunch has probably never been off the air and yet these two gems seem to have been lost in the cracks. Admittedly they were two of my fave shows as a child.

It is funny to watch the episodes and see HUGE stars with bit parts. People I hadn’t remembered being part of the program. Janet Jackson had a part for 4 years as Willis’ girlfriend and if I may say, she was GORGEOUS before all that plastic surgery (at least she didn’t go as far as Michael and LaToya, who clearly have the same surgeon...I have to check for breasts just to tell those two apart).

One of the episodes had Forest Whittaker as the school bully. Such a bit part. It is funny to look back and see him there. He looks the same only younger with no facial hair. Mr. T was in an episode and ref. the A Team (another great 80s program). And Kareem Abdul Jabar was on a couple of episodes (oddly enough, years apart) as a substitute teacher.

The other thing that strikes me as I watch the shows, as it has been SO many years since I have done so, is thinking about the lives of those kids after. I feel like you couldn’t go to the grocery store at any time in the 90s without at least one of those child stars being splashed accross all the tabloids. I guess Todd Bridges has gotten his stuff together, but they have all been arrested, on drugs and Dana Plato was dead (suicide by overdose) before she was 35. Okay, I guess that is depressing.

It does bring a sense of nostalgia for my childhood and memories of simpler times with less to worry about when Wed nights was all about Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life, although I think it was Tuesdays originally and it moved (yes, I remember the night it aired...I have a freaky memory...The Dukes of Hazard was Friday nights at 8pm just before Dallas, I think Silver Spoons was on Mondays, Growing Pains was Wed nights, The Golden girls were Saturday nights...it is just the shows I really loved at the time). My biggest problems were had I done enough homework to get by with out any major trouble (I wasn’t nearly as anal as a child as I am now ) and had I managed not to fight with my mother and get myself grounded (in my house this meant no TV--cruelty!) that week.

Okay, thanks for indulging me on my rambling about Diff’rent Strokes. I will leave you with some other shows I would like to see on TV even if only for a one day marathon. Let me know if you remember them.I do love a good walk down memory lane!

Jennifer Slept Here

Charles in Charge (the original and the second one -- that was weird...same show and a totally different family)

Joanie Loves Chachi (did anyone else notice that HAPPY DAYS started out in the 60s and Joanie Loves Chachi was a modern 80s show???)

The Hardy Boys (Hey, I said just for a one day marathon...I am nostalgic and besides it was on when I had bronchitis and was home for a week in 1999 and I got hooked...you may be surprised...alas it was gone soon after and has not been back)

Square Pegs (Sara Jessica Parker’s first series and she was not nearly as stylish)

Rags to Riches (I LOVED this...do you remember the show about a rich man that adopted a gaggle of teenage female orphans?)

Solid Gold and/or Dance Fever (ok I am blushing, but I loved those shows with people dancing about in gold lamay and sparkles).

Double Trouble (remember the show with the twin red-haired girls)Kate & Ally (a classic)

WKRP in Cincinnati

Night Court (my mom loved this show)

Ok, that is a start. Let me know if you can think of any others! I do realize that you remember some shows better than they were, as times and TV have certainly changed...as have we. I had been very excited to find out that Emergency (as a child I fantasized about living in the fire house with Johnny and Roy), the Dukes of Hazzard and Soap had made it back to TV, only to be disappointed when I watched them again. Emergency had horrible camera work and BAD acting (sorry Randolph Mantooth I still love ya), The Dukes of Hazzard made me feel like if I lived like them I would slice my wrists, a feeling that did not present itself when I was a child, and Soap, well...Soap was just plain painful. I don’t think I made it through a whole episode. I am convinced I would still love some of these shows though.I have enjoyed my evening of Diff’rent Strokes after all! I hope you are all well and will never be forced to watch as much TV as I have, being home alone and unable to drive over the last 2 months!
Hugs, Christine xo

Thai Chicken Curry Stew

November 13, 2007


Hello Fellow Foodies!

I hope this email finds you all well! Perhaps I decided to start a food blog so I can stop bugging all my friends on Email/MySpace every time I get a new and exciting idea!

Although I have a ton of work to do reading thesis papers for a committee I volunteered for this week, I decided to make a chicken stew tonight! I started out with the idea of a plain chicken stew, but I didn't want to use any starches, so decided to get creative as to what I would add to the stew.

The end result is a Thai curry stew (that is what I am calling it, as I made it up). It includes mushrooms, onions, scallions, fresh cilantro, chicken (what is a chicken stew without chicken), a bag of frozen Asian veggies (water chestnuts, mini corn, snow peas, yellow and orange carrots, sprouts, etc), Channa Dal (a kind of lentil), green curry paste, a can of coconut milk and chicken broth. Now I let it stew for a couple hours until it thickens. And to top it off, dumplings? NO! I am going to throw in cubes of extra firm tofu instead!

YUMMY! I can't wait to try it and hope it will be as good as I think it should be (this one may rival the famous cowboy stew). It is super healthy as it has all those veggies, and besides the protein from the Channa Dal, tofu and the chicken, the Channa Dal also adds lots of fiber! Not to mention the way the chillies in the curry will get the metabolism revved up!

As most of you know, I don't measure anything when I make stuff up. I do it all to taste, so feel free to steal this idea and make it yourself. Let me know what you think!

Bon Apetit! Hugs, Christine

Cooking Creations: Chicken in Pumpkin & Coconut Curry

January 13, 2008

Hello fellow Chefs!

...and those of you who just love to eat and be cooked for...

I know some of you guys like to cook and experiment in the kitchen, so I felt like sharing a new dish I made up today. I am still in my PJs and have been cleaing and didn’t feel like going to the grocery store so I have raided my cabinets again and made something up with the ingredients within, and am actually excited to have dinner tonight! I sauteed chicken cut up in large bite-sized pieces with olive oil, chili oil, onion, garlic and ginger. Then I added diced tomatoes in lime juice and cilantro, Thai fish sauce, a can of pumpkin, a can of coconut milk and some curry powder. I threw in a bit of Chana Dal, a yellow lentil, for health (great for fiber and protein) and to thicken it up a bit. It is simmering now and I will serve it with fresh steamed jasmine rice which is in the rice cooker steaming away! I will also have a spinach salad. I love raw baby spinach! If I planned to cook it again I would have coconut cream instead of milk and fresh cilantro and scallions, but I think it is really quite good for grabbing stuff out of the cabinets! Feel free to try it at home! Hope you are all well and enjoyed your weekend.

Big Hug, Christine