A 'Foreigner' Forever...
I come to this entry as a virgin blogger. Sure, I've kept a journal for most of my life (although I am slacking in that regard of late). Why? Why haven't I done this before? Why am I doing it now?
Many of you are probably thinking "this is as good a time as any," but that may not necessarily be true in my case. You see, I have just returned from living abroad for the last five years. Most would think it makes more sense to start blogging when you leave everything you've ever known for a foreign land, rather than when you have recently returned.
I don't disagree, especially looking back over these past five years and knowing it all would have made incredible material. I could have written about everything from the beauty of a place to the adjustments necessary to live there, the cultural differences, and the people I encountered.
I am not sure the question is why didn't I then, as much a why start now? As to why not then, to be honest, I have been resistant to blogging. As I said earlier, I have always kept a journal. I guess what many blogs do, I do in my journal. I have always considered my journal to be very private. I will often write things in my journal that I have never said out loud.
I realize now there are many things in my journal that could be shared. Maybe a blog could serve one purpose and my private journal another. This alone is not the answer to why now though?
It is hard to understand if you haven't experienced it yourself, but to live out of the country for so long and then come back takes a lot of adjustment. 'Home' doesn't feel the same as it did before you left. Living abroad changes the way you see the World and your place in it. It did for me anyway, and it is hard to explain that to people. Also you miss things and people that will never be easily accessible again. They are not here. Friends' lives at home have progressed five years without you in them and you often find they do not have a lot of time for you, leaving you lonely and bored, and thinking, even if only fleetingly, of leaving the country again. Then you remind yourself that you will have to go through this even if you go away and return in five years time. You would simply be putting off the inevitable!
On top of all of this there are the subtle differences in the way you think and see the World, politics, society, war etc...It is a slow change, but one that people recognize and are often uncomfortable with. There are some people that I do not dare to share my views with at all. I have heard many things that disturb me, but often am afraid to talk about it with people. I still share those things with my friends in other countries or friends here that have lived abroad.
I think when you leave your home, your country and go and live in other cultures for an extended period of time, to some extent you will always be a 'foreigner' no matter where you go-even just a little bit in your own country. You never completely fit in while living in those other countries of course, but you never will at home again either.
Of course, there are wonderful things about being home. There were things and people you missed that you can now have or be with. It is wonderful to reconnect with family and friends when you can. I have two nephews. One, Griffin, is just three months old and was born within a week of my return. The other, Logan, is two and I am enjoying establishing a bond with him. It is not all bad, but it is an adjustment.
I am going to use this blog to express myself through this transition, whether it is sharing my experiences, talking about new friends,any trips I may take, or simply ranting about politics, the long lines at the bank or the crazy Boston driving. It may serve as a form of therapy for me in this period of adjustment!
Many of you are probably thinking "this is as good a time as any," but that may not necessarily be true in my case. You see, I have just returned from living abroad for the last five years. Most would think it makes more sense to start blogging when you leave everything you've ever known for a foreign land, rather than when you have recently returned.
I don't disagree, especially looking back over these past five years and knowing it all would have made incredible material. I could have written about everything from the beauty of a place to the adjustments necessary to live there, the cultural differences, and the people I encountered.
I am not sure the question is why didn't I then, as much a why start now? As to why not then, to be honest, I have been resistant to blogging. As I said earlier, I have always kept a journal. I guess what many blogs do, I do in my journal. I have always considered my journal to be very private. I will often write things in my journal that I have never said out loud.
I realize now there are many things in my journal that could be shared. Maybe a blog could serve one purpose and my private journal another. This alone is not the answer to why now though?
It is hard to understand if you haven't experienced it yourself, but to live out of the country for so long and then come back takes a lot of adjustment. 'Home' doesn't feel the same as it did before you left. Living abroad changes the way you see the World and your place in it. It did for me anyway, and it is hard to explain that to people. Also you miss things and people that will never be easily accessible again. They are not here. Friends' lives at home have progressed five years without you in them and you often find they do not have a lot of time for you, leaving you lonely and bored, and thinking, even if only fleetingly, of leaving the country again. Then you remind yourself that you will have to go through this even if you go away and return in five years time. You would simply be putting off the inevitable!
On top of all of this there are the subtle differences in the way you think and see the World, politics, society, war etc...It is a slow change, but one that people recognize and are often uncomfortable with. There are some people that I do not dare to share my views with at all. I have heard many things that disturb me, but often am afraid to talk about it with people. I still share those things with my friends in other countries or friends here that have lived abroad.
I think when you leave your home, your country and go and live in other cultures for an extended period of time, to some extent you will always be a 'foreigner' no matter where you go-even just a little bit in your own country. You never completely fit in while living in those other countries of course, but you never will at home again either.
Of course, there are wonderful things about being home. There were things and people you missed that you can now have or be with. It is wonderful to reconnect with family and friends when you can. I have two nephews. One, Griffin, is just three months old and was born within a week of my return. The other, Logan, is two and I am enjoying establishing a bond with him. It is not all bad, but it is an adjustment.
I am going to use this blog to express myself through this transition, whether it is sharing my experiences, talking about new friends,any trips I may take, or simply ranting about politics, the long lines at the bank or the crazy Boston driving. It may serve as a form of therapy for me in this period of adjustment!
posted by Unknown | 10:31 PM
3 Comments:
tell them if you ever got the panicky emails, as I continue to do
profbreezy -- you know who and what I mean.
by the way...how do you say "Lo siento...(I´m sorry) in Korean??
This from the polite dentist in Antigua Guatemala!
To answer your question Mr. polite dentist from Antigua, 'mi an humnida' is I'm sorry in Korean.
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